While everybody experiences grief differently, there are some common stages of grief that most of us go through. Understanding these stages can help us move through them in a healthy and positive way.
Denial
The first stage can help us cope with the initial shock of the loss and provides a temporary escape from reality. During this stage, we may feel numb, or in disbelief that the loss has actually occurred. It’s common to try to avoid thinking or talking about the loss and to distract ourselves with other things.
Does this sound familiar? We pretend that the reality of what has happened hasn’t really occurred and protect ourselves from feeling the challenging emotional pain that comes with the reality of the loss. It can take time for us to adjust, and our minds often play the positive memories we once held over and over again.
Are you struggling to move on since the loss of a loved one took place? Let’s work through this together.
Anger
The second stage can be incredibly intense and confusing, as we may find ourselves feeling angry with the person who has died, left, or the part of our life which is no longer there. We may find ourselves angry with the person, the situation or even ourselves. It’s important to understand that this anger is a normal part of the grieving process and a way of expressing our pain and frustration over a situation we cannot control.
Are you currently angry at your emotional pain or discomfort as you try to adapt to your new reality? Let’s work through this cycle together in a safe, confidential and supportive space.
Bargaining
This stage often involves making deals with a higher power in an attempt to reverse the loss. For example, we may find ourselves saying things like, “If only I had done X differently, then Y wouldn’t have happened”. Bargaining can provide a temporary sense of comfort, but it is ultimately an unproductive stage that can delay our progress through our healing journey. Feeling hope makes us feel more safe and secure, but often this hope can move us back into denial; it’s important that we take time to sit with reality and with our painful emotions so we can move towards acceptance. Let’s work together in a safe, confidential and supportive space to do this.
Depression
This stage can be incredibly difficult, as we are faced with the reality of the loss and the pain that comes with it. During this stage, we may experience feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in life. We often seek help from friends or family if we are struggling with heavy or depressive thoughts during the grieving process, but we forget that they may be dealing with their own difficult emotions and, therefore, not able to give the support we need at this time. Get in touch so we can work through this difficult time together in a safe, confidential, and supportive space.
Acceptance
The final stage marks a shift from a focus on the loss to a focus on the future. During this stage, we may begin to find meaning and purpose in life again and start to look forward to the future. Acceptance does not mean that we are over the loss or that we have forgotten about the person, situation, or dream. It simply means that we have accepted that the loss has occurred and are starting to find a way to move forward.
It’s important to understand that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and that everyone moves through the grieving process at their own pace. Some people may only go through a few of the stages, while others may revisit certain stages multiple times. The most important thing is to be kind to ourselves and give ourselves permission to grieve in our own way.
Moving through the grief cycle can be a challenging and emotional journey, but with the right support and self-care, it is possible to find comfort and healing.
If you are struggling, schedule a 20 minute discovery call so we can start to work through the cycles together.