The inner critic has many names, but I like to call it the ‘gremlin’. The most common is called the ‘chimp’, the ‘gremlin’ or just simply the little voice inside our heads. The inner critic is a biological and psychological cognitive adaptation necessary for human development, but our inner gremlin doesn’t actually serve us in a true light. It serves us on our familiar, our known past experiences and thinks anything new or unknown is more dangerous, and therefore, this little subconscious voice tells us we can’t or should not do something. This can prevent us from achieving, moving forward or ascending in our healing journeys.   The Human brain, according to Peters (2012), has three states, the ‘human’, the ‘computer’ or the ‘chimp’ and is continuously switching between them. He suggests that for our survival, the brain will either use our hard-wiring, which has been coded into us from a young age (the computer), whilst using learnt beliefs and behaviours as we go through various experiences (the human) or anything that is emotive, self-doubting, or belittling which often comes more apparent at night, ‘the chimp’.  The inner critic within each of us has the intention to keep us safe; however, this safety net is often always coming from a place of vulnerability, fear and self-sabotage, which generates over-thinking and places the individual in a position of ‘victimization’.  Self-sabotage is when one undermines their goals and values, especially when it creates problems in daily life. Self-sabotage can involve procrastination, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and negative self-beliefs are just some examples and may lead to us ending up in the same place again and again. Unfortunately, the inner critic misleads us by ‘self-protection’ and raises all of the ‘buts’ that seem to be protecting us from failure, mistakes, pain etc.  One of the biggest negative belief barriers that are faced is ‘fear’. The inner critic will continually dis-serve by feeding untrue beliefs; fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of success, fear of making decisions, fear of responsibility, and fear of commitment. The inner critic will feed on fear which enlightens worry, anxiety, depression and self-doubt.  As we age, we become experts in creating excuses to keep ourselves inside of our comfort zones where we believe we are safe – this area is where our inner critic is empowered and continuously deepens negative self-sabotaging beliefs. The inner critic acts like an expert in such a delicate manner that we do not recognise that they are, in fact, belittling beliefs; they gain root in our minds so deeply that they are turned from thoughts to facts and, over time, accept them as true statements without examining these thoughts.  The inner critic behaves in a dysfunctional manner because of an irrational belief. These dysfunctional thoughts often resonate from families, culture or the environment we grew up in or are harvested over time from various disappointments or traumas as we pass through life. For example, in relationships, feelings of failure, shame, guilt or abandonment feed our inner critic and can have long lasting detrimental effects on our romantic attachment style and the decisions we subconsciously make in present or future partnerships.  It is important that we challenge our inner critic in order to remove any feelings of inadequacies or not ‘fitting in’. Or when feeling vulnerable in a situation that feels like we have little or no control over it. This may increase the feelings of being trapped and accustomed to making reactionary decisions or feeling like our back is against the wall.  When we learn how to tame our gremlin, we can feel a sense of empowerment and self-confidence. This can lead to potential growth as we learn to respond clearly to situations rather than emotionally react to them. When we are able to explore our inner critic and challenge the truth of it, we can release imperfections and know that they are not inadequacies. We can walk into embracing our true selves.  Let’s learn how to change your behaviour together, disallow your gremlin to take root in your mind and tame the negative thoughts and words to prevent you from self-sabotage.  Get in touch! Book your free 20 minute discovery call Whether you want to use the term psychologist, psychotherapist or coach, whichever makes you feel more comfortable in helping to tackle the relationship with yourself and others I am an online relationship therapist which can help you understand behaviours which may be effecting your marriage, relationship or dating habits. Best wishes, Charlie. Psychologist, Therapist, Coach based in Dubai providing global online therapy to those in need. We don’t need to hurt. #relationship expert