In couples therapy and with my solo clients in session, I get asked all the time. “Is it worth fixing my relationship with my husband or wife?”, “Should I stay or should I go?”, “Should I try to make it work with my girlfriend or boyfriend?” 

I always remind my clients that this is not a simple answer as our belief systems and integrated attachment systems are biased. 

There are lots of different levels to explore within a relationship before deciding on divorce, separation or breaking up. The first stage explored in therapy is each partners 50% of the relationship. Each partner is responsible for their 50%, how they think, feel and behave. 

Our thoughts tend to be biased from our up bringing, previous relationships and the environments we have been subjected to. But the first to explore is, have you always been dumper, dumpee, or has it been a mixture of the two? 

This, coupled with your childhood upbringing will help to reveal your dominant attachment system (read more about this here) 

This will be responsible for your rose-tinted-glasses (read more about what this means) where you might not see things how they are, but see them through your biased lens. This is fundamental in how you navigate relationships as your thoughts, feelings and how you behave tend to always be a subconscious act. 

After exploring these two steps, its important to unpick if this sounds familiar… 

My contribution to the Gulf News article (April 2024) 

You can read my full version on the three stages of a relationship and how you may relate to them from your past relationship patterns. 

And lastly, learn how to improve the relationship with your partner through improving your communication, through listening and validating them, rather than trying to either provoke or defend. 

Have you lost sight that your partner is your team mate and your ally, or are you treating them like the enemy? 

Whether you want to use the term psychologist, psychotherapist or coach, whichever makes you feel more comfortable in helping to tackle the relationship with yourself and others I am an online relationship therapist which can help you understand behaviours which may be effecting your marriage, relationship or dating habits. 

Let’s get out of the maze together! 

Best wishes, 

Charlie. 

Psychologist, Therapist, Coach based in Dubai providing global online therapy to those in need.   

We don’t need to hurt. 

#relationship expert 

Read the full Gulf News article with my contribution: 

Can you fix a broken relationship? When to let go & when to fight for it